Kaminari's Kazoo
by Verassi
Summary: Kaminari Denki wanted one thing in life more than anything: he wanted to be good at playing the kazoo. Of course, he had other aspirations, this one just happened to be his top priority, too bad he was completely inept at it.


AN: I don't know. I just... don't know. This is crack, it should not be taken seriously, I know I didn't take it seriously. God I wish I had been drunk when I wrote this, then I would at least have a viable excuse... but no. I was sober. Completely coherent when I wrote this.

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Kaminari Denki was a simple man. He wanted exactly three things in life: to get a significant other, become a hero, and play his kazoo around the world.

Denki thought it would be easy and for the most part it was, although, as much as he loathed to admit it he was having a bit of difficulty with those three task. Admittedly, he knew finding someone to spend his life with would be no easy task, but it was one he was prepared for. Becoming a hero was no walk in the park either, the studying was ruthless and his quirk had a major drawback, but his greatest hurdle had to be… learning to play the kazoo.

He didn't think it would be so difficult, but of course, what did he know about kazoos? Nothing, apparently, if his skill was anything to go by. He had watched all the videos online about how to play the kazoo—in fact, he attributed watching those videos at three am to his last exam score… it was not pretty.

For some reason though, the ability to play the kazoo eluded him. It shouldn't be this difficult. It should be easy. It should be the first thing he accomplished on his list—hell he only had _three_ things to accomplish anyway.

 _Why was was the kazoo the hardest one?_

"Hey, Kaminari, whatcha thinking about? You look kinda stressed." Denki was startled out of his reverie by one Ashido Mina.

He turned to look at her, with pain in his eyes, anguish framing his features and with a quivering voice much too high to be considered normal went, "I just-I don't understand!"

Mina gave him a sympathetic look, "I feel ya there. This upcoming exam is really killing me…"

… She didn't understand. This was so much more important than the exams. This was his sanity on the line. Denki downright _needed_ to learn how to play a kazoo or he was doomed to be a failure for all eternity.

Who cared if he was an amazing hero if he couldn't do something as simple as play the _goddamn kazoo?_

So, with a fake smile, he looked at Mina and laughed, "y-yeah… those exams are killing me alright." He died a little inside as he said it.

Mina just gave him a comforting glance and patted his shoulder, "It'll be alright, buddy. I know you can do it!"

Oof. Her words of comfort did nothing to quell his fears. She didn't understand his pain, nor did she know the utter defeat he felt after the twenty-seventh video of kazoo players on youtube, knowing he was no better in his kazoo playing capabilities than he had been before.

Slumpin his shoulders, Denki stared blankly at the wall in the commons. Woe unto him, he thought bitterly as he pulled his kazoo out and tried feebly to play it. It sounded awful, murder on his ears, but he persisted. If he was to get better, he would need to practice more… even if that practice was pointless.

So caught up in his own treacherous kazoo playing, Denki didn't notice Sero walking in on him.

"What is that awful sound," he exclaimed irritably.

Denki just turned his head slowly, a sorrowful gaze in his eyes as he stopped playing the kazoo, "I'm a failure in life. I can't even play the kazoo, how am I supposed to be a hero?" He asked, not expecting an answer.

Sero looked at him pointedly, "I don't see how those things have anything to do with each other…" he paused and glanced at Denki's kazoo, "besides," he pointed at the kazoo in Denki's hand, "that's not a kazoo, that's a piccolo."

Denki just stared at him, lost for words. Did this mean… that all this time… he had been trying to kazoo when he should have been trying to piccolo. It reminded him of the time when he should have whipped instead of nay nay'd.

Knowing this, hope had begun to wash back into his features. This meant he _could_ still be a hero and, more importantly, he _could_ still aspire to be a kazoo player for the big leagues. Well… there wasn't a big leagues for kazoo playing… yet, but _when_ one came about, he would be able to play there.

Yes, his hopes had not been crushed by his inability to play the kazoo, because he had not been playing the kazoo!

He sat up, looked Sero straight in the eye and exclaimed, "I'm so happy I could hug you!" And then he did… and in his shock, he… well shocked Sero. It wasn't fun for either one of them. Actually, he didn't really remember much after wards, because as a side effect of his quirk, discharging his electricity left his brain capacity at… well its minimum capacity.

One thing he did learn however, was that when his brain was fried, his musical intellect for the piccolo skyrocketed.

Later on, when his wits had somewhat come back and Sero had begrudgingly forgiven him, he made a plan to go to the mall and buy a proper kazoo—no longer would he trust random salesmen off the streets who offered him free kazoos, he had learned his lesson and he was not going to make that mistake again.

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AN: I'm... sorry? Not sorry? I'm not sure, all I know is I was enabled in a discord server and this happened...


End file.
